Imperfect love
by appearently uncreative
Summary: Its just a couples retreat for gay couples lets see how good there relationships are after the retreat. Romance drama humor
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: welcome happy couples**

Three of the four couples arrived at the 'resort' at the assigned time of 1:00 and they begin to introduce themselves enthusiastically.

"Name's Grimmjow, which one of these are yours" he said as he shook Nnoitra's hand.

"I'm Nnoitra and I'll show you. Hey Shiro" he yelled across the room

"What the fuck could possibly want we just got out the fucking car" Shiro yelled

"I just wanted to say hi" Shiro starred at him for a minute before giving him the finger "Right now"

"Don't make me kick your ass"

"Ok but that finger is still promised, right" he was laughing when he turned to face Grimmjow again "that's mine"

"Feisty, He give out dick threats?"

"Only when I do something he calls immature like putting butter on the floor so he will slip and fall, yea that gets me sleeping on the couch for about a week, but its the price i pay for laughter"

"Right, like putting plastic wrap on the top of the doorway then make him think something bad happened so he would come running into it and falls on the floor, that might get me time in the shower by myself but that's the price I pay for laughter"

"Blondie doesn't understand that, hey I'm Starrk"

"What did you do to the blond?" Nnoitra asked

"I put baby powder in the blow dryer and he was wet when he used it so it was stuck on his hair and body and he had to take another shower he didn't open the door when I went outside to close the car windows"

"It was winter, wasn't it" Grimmjow asked

"Yes, it was cold as hell and I was tired as fuck"

"Ichi did that to me"

"Which one is he"Nnoitra asked

"The one with the orange hair but if he hears you talkin' 'bout his hair don't look at me to help you"

"Got you"

* * *

><p>"Hey, I'm Shinji" said a slim blonde<p>

"Hey, I'm Ichigo" said a slim man with bright orange hair

"Hi, I'm Shiro" said a slim man with white skin and white hair

"Now that that's done, who likes to party" Shinji asked

"I was told I can only party with my boyfriend so he can keep an eye on me, over protective pick" Shiro said to nobody directly

"I was told I party too hard and my friends are bad influences on me" Ichigo said

"I'm a stripper and I was born to party"

"I used to strip but school got to crazy and I had to quit" Shiro said

"What do you go to school for?" Ichigo asked

"Law"

_Don't it feel good_

_when I touch on it_

_wouldn't it be nice if_

_all night I was in you_

"What" Ichigo said answering his phone Grimmjow just had to pick love faces when he called his phone "your across the room, what could you possibly need to call me for"

"I just wanted to tell you I love you" Grimmjow said

"No you didn't"

"Yea I did, I love you, see"

"I'm hanging up now"

"Ok, Ok did you get the bags out the car?"

"No, idiot, if you wasn't staring at my ass you would know that"

"It's a nice ass, can you blame me?"

"Can you blame me for hitting you?"

"Your always so violent with me why can't you be one of those boyfriends who serves me whatever I want"

"Like your maid"

"No, you don't fuck your maid"

"Bye"

"Where you goin'"

"Bye" Ichigo snapped his phone shut

"Who was that" Shinji asked

"My asshole of a boyfriend"

"Which one is he" Shiro asked

"The one with the blue hair"

"Damn, He's hot, Jesus Ichigo how can you abuse such beauty" Shinji all but yelled

"Because his face and his personality don't match, he's hot but he's an asshole but I love him all the same and I told him not to wear that shirt today" Ichigo said talking about Grimmjow's shirt that read 'My dick is like a pacifier when I put in my boyfriend's mouth he shuts up'

"Excuse me, gentlemen" said a man with blonde hair who wore a striped green hat, black trench coat, and carried a fan"My name is Kisuke and I will be your...how can I say this...teacher, mentor, either way I'm here to make your relationships better. This is no regular retreat, this is a beach but you have the option to party and drink..."

"YES!" Ichigo, Shinji, and Shiro cheered in unison

"or put your relationships in danger"

"Damn it"

"Your first class will start soon, so grab your men, bags, and room keys and get settled"

"Really, I stopped goin' to school for a reason" Nnoitra complained

"Shut up, Nnoi" Shiro said

"Why are you so mean to me"

"See boys that's what we're trying to fix" Kisuke said

* * *

><p>In each room there was a king sized bed, a big screen tv, a kitchenette, and a full bathroom.<p>

"Ooo Ichi There is only one bed, which means we have to sleep together" Grimmjow said happily

"Shut up, idiot" Grimmjow stuck his tongue out at Ichigo "Don't stick your tongue out at me"

"Just did, whatcha gonna do" he said moving closer

"Don't touch me"

"Or what Ichi" he said reaching out to tickle him

"Don't tickle me hahahaha stop hahahahaha stop" as Grimmjow tickled Ichigo til they fell on the bed. Ichigo hit him.

"Ow"

"Next time I tell you to stop and you don't I'm charging you for sexual harassment"

"So this is sexual harassment" he kissed his neck

"S-stop we just got here" he stuttered when Grimmjow got to the spot behind his ear

"So"

"Hey, you can't wait til you put your stuff away before you start fucking" Shiro yelled into the room

"That's what I'm talking 'bout, don't wait just do it" Nnoitra yelled

"Sh-Shut up" Ichigo was turning red with embarrassment

"Look Ichi your turning into a strawberry again"Grimmjow pointed out as he kissed Ichigo's neck

"Sh-shut up" he stuttered

"I don't wanna" he kissed his neck again

"St..." he started but was cut off by a P.A. system"All couples please report to the main room for your first class" Urahara's voice came through the P.A. system

"Oh yay!, class" Grimmjow said sarcastically "another place for me to get in trouble"

"Count me in"Nnoitra said"I've been getting in trouble since grade school"

"Me, too"Shinji chimed in"teachers keep telling me that my smart comments are not needed"

"I slept through all my classes" Starrk said

"Ok, bad kids, I think its time to get to class" Ichigo urged

"I say we skip" Nnoitra said

"I say you don't" Urahara's voice came through hte P.A. system again scaring everyone. they began to look around to see if there are any cameras near by that they can't see"There are no camera's, I can hear you, now get to class"

They all agreed going to class was the best and the safest thing and made there way to there 'classroom'.

"Welcome happy couples" Urahara greeted them

_And when were done_

_I don't wanna feel my legs_

_And when were done_

Shinji pulled his phone you of hi_s _pocket but before he could answer it it was snatched from his hand "Did I forget to mention there are no phones here"

"What, no body told me I can't have my phone"Shinji cried dramatically"Starrk, tell him to give me my phone back" he said turning towards him

"I think its for the best"Starrk said

"Oh what do you know, you sleep all day" he turned back to Urahara"Give me my phone back, I need that, that is my child"

"Shinji, stop it" Starrk said giving Shinji his serious look and Shinji sat down, crossed his arms across his chest, and pouted. He sat down next to him thinking the pout was cute and kissed his cheek "I'll make it up to you later, ok"

"Ok" And just like that Shinji was happy again

Urahara pulled out a note pad and quickly wrote something down in it, "Ok, Lets start with your name, how long you've been together' and how you met"

"We'll start" Starrk said "I'm Starrk and Blondie tells it better"

"Hey, I'm Shinji and we have been together for four years. We met because Starrk was an ass and let me try all my tricks before telling me 'all you had to do was ask Blondie'"Shinji said mockingly

"That's all you had to do"

"You let me try to seduce you for three months before you finally told me you hired my to work for you for a reason, because you already liked me, you asshole"

He smiled before saying"and you were so mad you fucked me in the office, I own a strip club" he added when he noticed everyone looking at them weird

"We shouldn't be looking at them like that, we've had sex in almost every office" Ichigo confessed

"Damn good sex too" Grimmjow said smirking

"Since your confessing, why don't you go next"

"Fine, me and Ichigo have been together for a year and a half, but we have been having sex for two" Grimmjow said happily

"The sex before the relationship, I like that see what they're worth before you get with them" Nnoitra said

"Shut up, Nnoi"

"So anyway, I don't know if he remembers this but we first met on a plane. I had to sit next to him and he was an asshole. He sat next to the window and he had to climb over me to got to the bathroom. He had to straddle me to get out and I got really, how could I put this.."

"turned on by my hotness" Grimmjow finished

Ichigo rolled his eyes "yea I guess you can say that, and I followed him to the bathroom and we had sex, and then about a year after that he showed up to my job and you guys know what happens next"

"Damn, you people really like to have sex" Nnoitra said out loud "Shiro you made me feel bad when all I wanted to do was fuck you"

"Because I wanted you to like me for me"

"I do like you for you, Shiro. You helped me graduate. Your smart and cute and funny and you have a nice ass, that's nice and tight and ..."

"Nnoi this is leading back to sex"

"Everything leads back to sex"Grimmjow said

"Back on track people"Kisuke said trying to get everyone's attention" Shiro, Nnoitra, I believe we were about to talk about you"

"Yes, me and Nnoi have been together for six years give or take" Shiro started

"Shiro is the hottest nerd I ever met. I have to tell you that because in high school I was a senior and he was a sophomore. We had the same math and science class and Shiro was my lab partner. I wanted to fuck Shiro soo bad. I could tell that Shiro was ass that had to be chased and I was willing to chase it. I think alcohol heals all problems, and a friend of mine was having a party so I decided to invite Shiro so I could fuck him" Nnoi said reliving every moment

"But what Nnoi didn't know was I could hold my liquor. It takes eight shots to get me tipsy and eight shots and seven beers for me to be party Shiro. Party Shiro is the one who gets you put in jail. Party Shiro got me three mug shots with my middle finger in them, but anyway when Nnoi took me to that party I got drunk and wanted to have sex with him and for some reason Nnoi didn't, I wonder every day why not"

"Cuz for some reason I just couldn't do it, I guess I knew it would be awkward between us and I didn't want that"

"That's so nice"

"I know"

Shiro shook his head "After that we actually ended up having sex during one of our study sessions, we started dating soon after but Nnoi decided he wanted to graduate"

"You helped me graduate"

Shiro smiled "I know, I thought it would be better if we broke up because I wanted Nnoi to be free to do whatever he wanted but I ended up graduating early and when I went out to go celebrate I saw Nnoi at the club we went to, with some bimbo, I pushed that bitch off him and fucked him in the bathroom and we have been together ever since"

"We're late because of you" said a cold voice from somewhere outside the room

"How are we late because of me" said another voice outside the room

"That must be our last couple" Kisuke said as he walked toward the door "we're in here boys"

"Good, lets go, Renji"

"Let go of me"

When they walked into the room Kisuke introduced them "Everyone this is our last couple Byakuya and Renji"

Ichigo, Shiro, Byakuya, and Renji froze when they saw each other, adn it almost went unnoticed thanks to Kisuke. It felt tense in the room,like this couple knew something that no one else knew.

"We started by telling everyone your name, how long you've been together, and how you met" Kisuke told them

"Ok, well, I'm Renji adnme and Byakuya have been together for two and a half years. We actually me the day before my wedding. I was about to marry his sisterand I fell in love with him at first site. The morning of my wedding he showed up at my door and told me to come with him to Italy" Ichigo's eyes snapped up to look at Byakuya

"Why Italy, Byakuya" Ichigo asked quietly

"It's romantic" he answered coldly

"Are you sure no one gave you that idea"

"I'm sure"

"Ichigo are you alright" Grimmjow asked picking up on the tension between the two

"I'm fine"

"Are you sure cuz you seem a little tense"

"I'm fine, Grimmjow" When Grimmjow didn't stop looking at him he sighed "I'm fine, ok, there's nothing to worry about"

He kissed his cheek "Ok, just checking"

"I know, thank you"

"Ichigo, Byakuya" Kisuke began, also picking up on the tension between the two "do you two know each other"

"No" Ichigo answered quickly

"Your lying" Grimmjow said

"No I'm n..."

"Ichigo" He said calmly to get his attention "your lying" he turned to face him "I know when your lying"

Brown eyes looked into blue and Ichigo knew he would lose sighing he gave up "I know" he took a deep breath "Byakuya was my boyfriend before you"

"What happen" Grimmjow asked softly

"He apparently he found Renji" Grimmjow noticed how sad Ichigo had gotten and put his arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. Ichigo looked at him smiling at him in thanks.

"Ichigo, I..., He didn't tell me, I don't think he told anyone" he said with deep apology in his voice

"It's okay, Renji" he looked at Byakuya "He didn't like telling people about me. Since Byakuya was rich and was next in line for his family's money and I was basicly middle class, he didn't like showimg me off to all his rich friends. He basicly had me there for the sex. He must really love you Renji" he added as an after thought

"That, I can say, is the truth" Renji said quietly

"I think that will be all for today" Kisuke said "We'll have our first assignment tomorrow. There is a mixer out on the beach be back in your rooms by midnight"

"A curfew" Shiro complained" I haven't had a curfew in years"

"Well you have a curfew now, class starts at twelve tomorrow don't be late, I have a lot of work to do" He said after all the couples left the room

* * *

><p>Byakuya and Renji decided not to go to the mixer with everybody else. Renji needed to talk to his boyfriend, because of this new found information he doesn't know if he can trust him anymore.<p>

Renji sat on the bed while Byakuya stood by the door.

"Your mad about Ichigo aren't you" Byakuya asked quietly

"You lied to him, you lied to me, you lied to everyone and it seems like you don't even care" he said without looking at him "Do you even tell people about me because last time I check I'm not rich either I'm far from it"

"Renji now you know its not like that" he moved from the door to sit next to him "I love you, you know that"

"Yea but its hard to tell"

"What do you mean its hard to tell, I tell you I love you everyday"

"Actions speak louder than words Byakuya. I think I will go to that mixer, I need a drink" Renji said when Bykuya didn't said anything


	2. First assignment:sex

**First assignment: sex**

The couples walked in their 'classroom' only to find it empty. Their 'teacher' was no where to be found. They decided to sit and wait for him, since there wasn't much else to do. When he finally arrived they were talking about movies they've seen. There was a woman with purple hair, gold cat-like eyes, and brown skin, walking in behind.

"Who's that" Grimmjow asked

"Grimm" Ichigo whined

"What, I wanna know"

"This is Yoroichi Shihion, she is our expert in relationships of all kinds we call her our sexpert" Kisuke explained

"This is one sexy group of men" she said loudly" Hey you with the red hair, I saw you getting out of the pool last night, hot damn, why do you wear a shirt. You are one sexy man I've never seen any one look as good as you. You wanna get together later tonight"

"Um, miss Shihion" Renji started

"Just call me Yoroichi" she said

"Yoroichi, thank you for telling me I look good, I know, I work out everyday, but I have a boyfriend and..."

"I know and it looks like he's getting pretty angry, which means I've done my job"

"What job"

"Making him care enough to get angry"

"Oh" Renji turned to look at Byakuya and indeed he was getting angry "That makes a lot of sense"

"I know" she said as she took her seat next to Kisuke

"Hey can you tell me how good I look" Grimmjow asked, Ichigo rolled his eyes

"Tch. No"

"Why not"

"Because Ichigo knows your hot and he also knows your not going anywhere"

"What if I was thinking about it" he said trying to challenge her knowledge

"Your not because you love him to much to leave and even if you tried to leave he would kick your ass faster than you can say its over"

"How do you know that"

"Cause I'm a genus"

"I think that's enough Yoroichi" Kiske said "Good morning"

Every one mumbled good morning, but Starrk flicked him off.

"You have to excuse Starrk, you woke him up pretty early" Shinji explained while he played in the mop of messy brown hair sitting in his lap

"I'm sorry Starrk, but whats more important your relationship or sleep"

Starrk groaned and turned his head in Shinji's lap to look at Shinji "Blondie?" Shinji laughed and leaned down to kiss him

"Now for our first assignment, sex"

"Yes" Grimmjow and Ichigo cheered "That's what we know the most"

"Which is the most affectionate" Kisuke said as if the out burst never occured.

All the couples pointed to that same couple.

"What?"Ichigo said in astonishment

"You two are overly affectionate" Renji deadpanned

"No, we're not. Are we?" Ichigo said

"Yes, you are" Shinji added in "I'm a stripper and me and Starrk don't kiss nearly as you two do"

Ichigo turned to face Grimmjow "Do...we...are we really overly affectionate"

"I didn't want to say anything but yea"

"What, why didn't you say anything"

"Why would I, I love kissing you"

"But.."

"Don't worry about it, babe" He kissed him "I still love you"

Ichigo laughed "You'd love me forever" He kissed him

"They're at it again" Renji said as soon as he saw tongue

When they stopped kissing they had shit-eating grins on they're faces and quietly whispered I love you. "Ok so maybe we do kiss a lot" Ichigo finally admitted"Whats wrong with that"

"Nothing" Kisuke said "but if that's all you have then there's a problem, which leads us back to this assignment, sex"

"Yay"everyone cheered

"There will be none of it"

"Oh my god, I can't breathe" Grimmjow said

"It'll be ok" Yoroichi said

"No it won't did you hear what he just said"

"This whole trip" Nnoitra asked

"No"

"Thank god"

"This week"

"What" Shinji said

Renji raised his hand "What about oral"

Everybody turned to look at Kisuke "No sex at all"

"I think I need go outside"

"What about hand jobs" Shinji asked

"No"

"Oh my god, Starrk what are we gonna do, Starrk you aren't sad about this"

"I never got off the plane this is all a bad dream" Starrk said

"You will be fine" Yoroichi said

"You don't know that" they said in unison

"Ok, what is the longest amount of time you have gone without sex with each other"

"Of any kind" Shinji asked

"Twleve hours" Grimmjow said in Ichigo's lap

"Excluding that year we broke up, a day and a half" Shiro said

"Three days and that was because Starrk pissed me off and I slept in a different room" Shinji said

"Two days and that's because my temper got the best of me" Renji said

"That's really bad"Yoroichi said

"I know, three days is a long time" Shinji said

"No, all of your relationships revolve around sex. What about emotions"

"What about emotions, sex makes you happy" Grimmjow said

"It also causes problems"

"It solves all my problems" Starrk said

She shook her head, knowing this was going to be harder than she hoped it would. "Class dismissed"

"Wait" Kisuke said holding up his hand "I want you to write down what you see in the mirror on a piece of paper. Don't share them with any one else but yourself. You will turn them in tomorrow but I will not read them, understand."

"Yea whatever" they all mumbled as they walked out the door

* * *

><p>After class everyone decided to go to the small bar located at the beach.<p>

"I don't know what I'm gonna do, without sex I'm nothing" Grimmjow complained

"I know how you feel, sex is the only thing that keeps us sane" Nnoitra added

"All I'll be doing is eatin', if I ain't fuckin' I'm eatin' or sleepin', and I can't sleep without fuckin'" Starrk said

"Oh, look a hula hoop" Shinji yells from across the beach

"I'll just have to meditate and invision Renji's body doing the things I want him to do to me"Byakuya said

"I might have to do that" Nnoitra added

"I don't think that will work for me, every time I close my eyes I see..." Starrk looked over to see what Shinji was doing and unfortunately for him he was just in time to watch him move his hips round and round in circle trying to keep the hula hoop on his hips "I'll be right back" he said as he got up, walked over o where Shinji was hula hooping, grabbed his arm and begun to drag him to the bathroom, until the P.A. system came on and Kisuke's voice came through.

"Breaking to rules will only result in being sent home and there are no refunds"

"Fuck" Starrk yelled letting go of Shinji's arm and walking in to the bathroom by himself.

This is going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

><p>I know this is really short but i though up how I'm going to line this story up, I'm going to do the assignment first then in the next chapter I'll tell you how the week went for the boys. that sound good<p>

Don't forget to review and I love you

Sorry it took so long but band is kicking my ass, these stories should come faster around November (hopefully, cross your fingers)


	3. A week without sex

**Chapter 3: A week without sex**

Monday

"Grimm if you touch me one more fucking time I'm going to punch you in your fucking face" Ichigo said as he walked into the 'classroom'. Last night was the worst night of his life. He's gone without sex before but there wasn't a shirtless man walking around all the time when he did. Since there was no sex they couldn't sleep in the same bed because the urge to fuck was too strong, so Ichigo ended up sleeping in the chair next to the bed. Ichigo didn't even kiss Grimmjow good night because he didn't want them to get kicked out.

"But I didn't even touch you" Ichigo has been yelling at him all morning

"I know, I'm sorry. This no 'sex thing' is really getting to me"

"I know babe" he leaned in to kiss him

He put his hand up to stop the kiss "That will only make things worse"

* * *

><p>"Nnoi, maybe if we hold hands while we walk to class it would take some of the pressure off the 'no sex' thing" Shiro suggested<p>

"That's why I'm with you, cuz you smart"

"Thanks Nnoi you've been saying that a lot lately"

"Yep cuz you smart"

"Nnoi whats wrong with you"

"Nothing smarty pa.. um ba... um.."

"Nnoi"

"OK, I'm trying no to think about sex and the only thing about you that hasn't lead to sex is your smarts, Oh damn, I just remembered our first time started cuz you were teaching me something, which shows your smarts" he sighed "I'm tired. All this thinkin' made my head hurt I don't see how you do it all the time"

"It's ok Nnoi, you tried your best. You still wanna hold hands?"

"Yea, maybe that will make me feel better" Shiro held his hand out and Nnoitra grabbed it and linked their fingers.

"Nnoi, looking at my ass isn't goin' to help anything"

"You right"

* * *

><p>"Renji, put a fucking shirt on" Byakuya yelled "If you don't put a shirt on in the next five seconds ima fuck you weather you like it or not"<p>

"Babe, I just got out the shower"

"You know what, ima go to class cuz if I stay here we gone get kicked out"

"Whatever"

Byakuya couldn't believe he was acting this way, he has never cursed at Renji no matter how angry he was at him. It all started lats night. Renji took his shirt off to go to bed, like always, and Byakuya walked over to his side of the bed to kiss him, like always, they kissed and kissed and the kiss got deeper, like always, but this time Renji stopped saying_ "Babe, I think we should stop"_

_"Since when?"_

_"Since I care about our relationship, don't you"_

_Byakuya stared at Renji before whispering 'I hate you' and walking back to his side of the bed to go to sleep._

_"Love you too" Renji mumbled _

When Byakuya got to the 'classroom' he noticed Nnoitra, Shiro, Ichigo, and Grimmjow were already there.

"Where's Renji" Ichigo asked

"He was walking around with his shirt off and he just got out the shower, I had to leave"

"I get it

* * *

><p>"Shinji, stop skippin'" Starrk yelled and Starrk doesn't yell "Why are you so damn happy. You fingered yourself this morning, didn't you"<p>

"Of course I did, Starrky" he bit his lip knowing that drives Starrk nuts

"Keep walking to class ima go make me a sandwich" he was suddenly hungry

"K, Starrky"

"Shinji"

"Yea, babe"

"Never mind"

"K"

Shinji has been doing that since last night. He's been wearing the tightest jeans and wearing his shirts low cut so you can see his tan chest. Last night was the worst for Starrk. Lats night Shinji wore one of Starrk's shirts and some really little boy shorts. Starrk was so tempted to touch he had to sleep on the floor. The only thing Starrk can do to replaced the sex is eat. Every time he gets horny he gets a sandwich.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, boys" Kisuke said as he walked into the room<p>

"Fuck you" they all said in unison

"So how was everybody's first night with out sex" Yoruichi asked

"I hate Renji" Byakuya said, Renji wasn't even bothered by it he just shook his head

"I can't complement Shiro cuz everything about him is sexy" Nnoitra said

"Its ok, Nnoi" Shiro kissed his cheek "I still love you"

"That just makes me want to fuck you"

"Ichi's been yelling at me since last night"

"I'm sorry babe its just that last night it all set in after you got out the shower"

"Shinji won't stop being sexy" Starrk said eating a sandwich and a family bag of chips

"Starrk" Kisuke said "Why do you have two sandwiches and a family bag of chips"

"Well if I ain't eating hot blonde I'm eating something"

"Ok" Kisuke said "I wanna talk about your first times together, we'll start with Byakuya and Renji. Byakuya what made you want to sleep with Renji after knowing him for only one day"

"I'll start from the beginning, I arrived at the Kuchiki Hotel two days before the wedding, I didn't meet anyone I just went to bed. I woke up the next morning at six, I always wake up at six you get more things done that way, I get in the shower and get out a hour later and I look out my window and I noticed that I'm not the only person who gets up at six. I saw Renji getting out of the pool, hair down, abs glistening from the sunlight, long, tan legs wrapped around my..."

"Byakuya!" Kisuke yelled

"What" he responded coming out of his daydream "What were we talkin bout again"

"Why you had sex with Renji after one day knowing him"

"Right, OK, So I saw him get out of the pool and I realized I was starring so I decided to get dressed and go to the small diner and get some breakfast. He was there his hair was wet and he still had his shirt off but he had pants on. I remember him coming up to me and saying 'you must be Byakuya' and I said "and you must be Renji'. Then he said 'yea' and said something else but I was to focused on his abs to pay his face any attention. I guess I agreed to sit down cuz that's what we were doing. Then I noticed he was getting cold cuz his nipples were getting hard so I gave him my jacket and I was able to pay a lot more attention. Some how we got on the topic of music and he told me he sings and I told him I play the piano and somehow we were singing in the ballroom where the piano was. I think that's when I fell in love with him"

"That was kinda romantic but what made you want to have sex with him on his wedding day? Didn't you at least think he was in love with your sister?"

"That's the part I don't get, usually I am very protective of my sister and her feelings but I couldn't sleep the night before and that morning I made up my mind. I wanted Renji, and I always get what I want"

"Good job, class dismissed " Kisuke said writing something in a notebook

"Whoa, that's it, you didn't even go through all the couples" Renji said "I wanna hear everyone's story cuz we came in late, Byakuya" he turned to him with an accusing stare

"It was not my fault, no one told you to touch me when it was time to board the plane" Byakuya said

"And no one told you to ride me in the bathroom of the plane station we could've fucked on the plane" Byakuya hit him in the stomach "ow, what the fuck B"

"You know I don't fuck on planes"

"Whatever" he leaned over to kiss him, Byakuya moved his face "Kissing will only get us kicked out"

"I never said you couldn't kiss" Kisuke said

"Kissing leads to sex" Byakuya answered

"Told you Grimm"

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday<em>

"Good morning lovers, how was your morning" Yoruichi asked

"Ichi hit me" Grimmjow whined

"I've had ten sandwiches since yesterday" Starrk said eating a sandwich

"I've been jackin' off in the shower since last night" Byakuya said

"I fingered myself this morning, its not the same" Shinji said

"My dick cried last night" Nnoi said

"That's not good" Kisuke said "but lets move on. Nnoitra, why did you wanna sleep with Shiro?"

"Because his jeans were really tight and his ass was really round"

"That's it"

"I guess I'll tell the whole story. I actually like Shiro his freshmen year"

"How? We had no classes together" Shiro asked

"Just cuz you had your hood up and we had no classes together doesn't mean I couldn't see that incredibly round ass of yours, so when you popped up in my chemistry class I was more than happy. When it was time to pick lab partners I asked the teacher if I could have Shiro, I knew he was smart, he could get me A's and I wanted to tap that ass"

"Wait, you only asked to be my lab partner for your own benefit" Shiro said

"No, that was my original plan. Then I saw you outside of school playin' your guitar in the park. Your hood was down and you were happy, then I wondered how I could put that smile on your face" Shiro smiled "That right there is what made me wanna know the real Shiro"

"But what I wanna know is why you didn't sleep with me at that party" Shiro asked

"Cuz I don't like drunk slutty, boys...ok I don't like drunk, slutty Shiro...ok I didn't want to sleep with you because I knew if I did, things would get awkward between us and I didn't want that"

"So when did you two finally have sex" Yoruichi asked

"Well, we were at my apartment and Shiro was teachin' me something and we turned at the same time and we kissed, grabbed his face into my hands and kissed him again and then we had sex and we been fucking ever since"

"So at first you just wanted to fuck Shiro and then you wanted to be with him for real" Kisuke asked as he wrote something in his notebook

"Yea, basically"

"Ok, class dismissed"

"Good, I need another sandwich" Starrk mumbled

"Nnoi, hands to yourself" Shiro said when he got up from his seat, he just knew Nnoi was reaching for his ass

"Damn" Nnoitra whispered

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday<em>

"Good morning happy couples" Kisuke said as he walked in the room

"Fuck you, I hate Grimm" Ichigo said

"I hate you, too" Grimmjow replied

"Fuck you" Byakuya said

"Starrky won't talk to me" Shinji said sadly

"I couldn't sleep last night" Shiro said sadly

"I had to sleep outside because the urge to fuck him is too strong" Nnoi said

"Renji, you don't seem that hurt about this" Yoruichi noticed

'Well, unlike my boyfriend, I think the 'no sex' thing will be good for my relationship" Renji replied

Byakuya turned toward Renji "You are so fucking weird"

"So you wouldn't mind if I told you you couldn't have sex the rest of the trip" she asked

"I would be quite devastated and I would get us kicked out cuz as soon as this is over I'm fuckin' his brains out"

"Oh goody" Byakuya said smiling for the first time all week

"Now, lets get down to business, Starrk what made you wait so long before telling Shinji you wanted him" Kisuke asked

"Well, when Shinji walked into my office I could tell he was into me. He took a quick peek into my office and I saw his face when he saw me. He fixed his hair and looked at his ass in the mirror before walking in. He tried to seduce me with soft touches but that no longer worked on me. After we talked I had to see him dance, you know to see if he was good, so on our way to the pole I walked behind him, he tried to shake his ass as he walked, he did a good job I've seen worse. When he started stripping I was hypnotized, he was so good and he looked like sex personified and the way he moved his hips I wondered how he would move on my dick. I'm gettin' hard just thinkin bout it"

"Well Starrk, it looks like you wanted to fuck Shinji when you met him, what made you wait?"

"One reason is, I wanted to see how far and how long he would go. The other reason is Shinji was different than all the other guys that flirt with me. When he 'helped' he actually helped. I could tell he was a smart blonde and liked to help others and over the course of three months I began to like him but I guess over the three months I had him waiting he got tired. I know this cuz he barged into me office and he says 'Starrk Coyote' and I go 'yes blondie' 'I'm sick of flirting with you and you not noticing. I mean look at me who wouldn't wanna fuck me' and I go 'Well blondie, I had no idea' 'What the fuck you mean you had no idea, everyone knows I like you' and then I said it 'Really, well all you had to do was ask, blondie' the way he looked at me was scary. I didn't know know if he was gonna hit me or flip the desk over. Instead he crawled on my desk, grabbed my shirt and kissed me. That just put me over and I fucked him"

"Best sex of my life" Shinji whispered

"Starrk you didn't want to sleep with Shinji when you first saw him?" Yoruichi asked

"No, I by that time I was over the flirtatious blonde thing. Actually I was over blondes all together, but Shinji was different"

"So after yall had sex what happen next" She asked

"I claimed that ass, then we went to my house hand in hand and made love all day"

"Best day of my life" Shinji whispered again

"Ok, class dismissed" Kisuke said writing in his notebook

* * *

><p><em>Thursday<em>

"Grimm, shut the fuck up I am so sick of you talkin' to me, shut up. I don't wanna hear your voice unless your screaming my name" Ichigo yelled as he walked in to the classroom that morning. He has never gone this long with out having sex with Grimmjow and its really effecting him. "I'm so sorry"

"Its ok" Grimmjow said sadly

"I wanna kiss you so badly"

"Why won't you"

"Cuz if I kiss you I won't be able to control myself"

"Really?" Kisuke asked

"Yes" Ichigo answered

"At least you care enough about your relationship to have control" Yoruichi said

"Thanks"

Kisuke shook his head slightly before moving on "Grimmjow when you and Ichigo had sex on the plane what were you thinking"

"This sexy ass orange haired man I was sittin' next to, is nasty"

"Really, how do think Ichigo felt"

"Obviously good enough to fuck me"

"Grimm seriously"

"Sorry, the plane was very unexpected. We were being very ass-hole-ish towards each other. He spilled my soda and I knocked his peanuts on the floor. Till this day I still don't understand how it all happened, but I'm happy it did" he smiled

"How long after the plane sex did you begin working at Ichigo's job" Yoruichi asked

"Um about six months" Grimmjow answered

"And how long was it before you two began to have sex"

"Hour and a half"

"Yea Grimm tell them about how after a hour and a half you snatched me in a closet and fucked me" Ichigo said smiling just thinking about it

"Gladly"

Shaking his head for the second time Kisuke went on "Grimm how did you feel when you found out that you and Ichigo would be working together"

"Happy, horny, totally turned on, excited"

"Why did you wait so long to make it official"

"I don't know, ask Ichi"

"Ichigo would you like to explain"

"Sure, Me and Byakuya..." Ichigo started

"Byakuya and I" Byakuya corrected

"Why do you always do that" Renji and Ichigo said in unison

"I can't help it"

"Whatever,_ Byakuya and I_ had just broke up and I didn't and I didn't want to jump into a new relationship"

"Question" Byakuya said "Did you guys have sex on the plane when you were still with me"

"Yea but you were fucking Renji" Ichigo said

"I just wanted to know"

"yea whatever"

Kisuke sighed heavily before dismissing the class.

* * *

><p><em>Friday<em>

"Hello happy couples" Kisuke and Yoruichi said at the same time, most of them groaned, others cursed namely,Starrk, Ichigo, Nnoitra, and Byakuya, "Don't be so mean, sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship"

"Shut up, don't say that, don't ever say that" Shinji cried

"You guys should really be ashamed of yourselves sex shouldn't run your run your lives" Kisuke tried to explain

"I'm sorry if I think with me dick, but I've been waiting for someone to blow my brains out for a long time. I finally get it and now you wanna take it away from me, that's just not fair" Grimmjow said

"What's not fair is you people take your relationships for granted. Most people can't even find love and here you are complaining about sex. It is quite ridiculous that after all the love and tenderness that you share, you complain about sex. Out of all the couple I have helped, you guys ,by far, are the worst" Kisuke said

"Ouch, why so harsh" Renji said "I'm not even complaining about sex"

"Shut up, Renji" Byakuya snapped

"I need a break" Kisuke said getting up and walking out the door

"See what you did" Yoruichi yelled "Now he's gonna quit"

"I didn't mean to make him angry. Now that I think about it, I still love Grimm without the sex" Ichigo admitted before kissing Grimmjow on the cheek, Grimmjow smiled instantly

"You kissed me"

"Yup and I don't have the urge to sleep with you"

"I didn't want to leave Starrky after we had sex the first time" Shinji said " and I stayed because I actually liked him"

"I liked Blondie before I fucked him" Starrk said "and I love him after"

"I love you, too"

"I guess I don't hate Renji as much as I say I do" Byakuya kissed Renji's cheek "I love you, Renji"

"I love you, too"

"Shiro your the best boyfriend I've ever had and I loved you before we had sex and I'll love you for the rest of my life" Nnoitra said

"Aww Nnoi, I love you too" Shiro kissed his cheek repeatedly

"Alright, alright, your making it worse"

"I'm sorry"

"It's ok"

Yoruichi smiled

"What the fuck are you smiling for" Grimmjow asked rudely

She kept smiling and pulled a phone out of her pocket, she touched the screen and called someone "It worked"

"What worked? What are you talkin' bout?" Byakuya asked

"Well I thought that if I got angry and walked out of the room and Yoruichi said I would quit, it might make you realize what this lesson is about" Kisuke said from the doorway

"Since we figured it out...never mind" Grimmjow started

"Since we figured it out can we have sex now" Byakuya said what Grimmjow was thinking

"No!" Kisuke said throwing his hands up and shaking his head

"Aww" everyone groaned

"Anyway" kisuke walked back to his seat "I have something for you" he pulled a box out of nowhere

"What is that" Nnoitra asked

"These" kisuke pulled them out of the box "are dolls that look just like you"

"Ooo let me see mine" Grimmjow said "Damn I look good" he said when he got his doll

"Hold on"Ichigo said "There is something wrong with Grimm's doll"

"What" Kisuke asked

"Its missin' ego" he laughed

"Hahahaha your so funny" Grimmjow rolled his eyes "Ass"

"Takes one to love one, babe"

"Byakuya, why Renji's shirt off" Yoruichi asked

"Because I'm hoping its like voodoo, so when I take this Renji's shirt off the real Renji's shirt will come off." he sighed "It doesn't work, but they are identical. I'll just look at this Renji and pretend its the real one"

"Babe" Renji started

"Yes, Renji" Byakuya answered staring at the fake Renji's body

"Do you even look at my face?"

"No, your torso just says things occasionally" He shook his head slightly "Renji did you say something?"

Renji threw his hands in the air "I give up"

"On what"

"Nothing"

"Starrky doesn't have a pillow attached to his head" Shinji pointed out

"And Shinji doesn't have a phone in his back pocket" Starrk said

"Look Nnoi" Shiro said "Your doll is taller than everyone elses, just like in real life"

"Oh my god, Shiro, they got your ass down to a tee, look at it, its like a perfect circle"

"Alright boys...Byakuya put Renji's shirt back on" Yoruichi snapped

"Ok" he said sadly

"Alright boys, we're gonna do something like role play. We want you to use these dolls to portray what happens when we're not there, Shiro, Nnoi you go first"

"Ok" Shiro answered "This is what Nnoi sound like anywhere 'Damn, Shiro, look at that ass, whatchu be doin to get yo ass like that' and this is what its like when I'm in another room and he's watching tv 'Shiro I dropped the remote and I think it rolled under the tv and since I'm to big to get it, could you' I know he kicks it under there cuz remotes don't roll, but I get it anyway. The tv is on a short stand so I have to get on my hands and knees and all I hear is 'yea..damn...damn...all that ass' sometimes I think he doesn't even know I have a face"

"I know exactly how you feel" Renji looked at Byakuya

"Renji would you like to go next" Yoruichi asked

"Sure. This is what goes on in our house 'Renji the grass it getting kinda high could you cut it, and its kinda hot I think you should do it your shirt off' and 'Renji you should cook dinner with you shirt off, that way you'll ready for dessert' and here's the worst one 'Renji you can't sleep with your shirt on its too hot for that"

"Nnoitra, Byakuya, do you even care about your boyfriends' feelings"

"Yea" Nnoitra said "When he's happy he shakes it for me"

"Yea I care about Renji's feelings, when he's happy there is a better chance of his shirt coming off"

Kisuke sighed and shook his head, this is going to be his hardest group ever "Ichigo, Grimm would you like to go next"

"Sure" Ichigo said "Grimm has a big ass ego so damn near everything has to be about him. Everytime he looks in the mirror he says 'Damn you look good if it wasn't for Ichigo I'd fuck. Your ass ain't as nice as his but you certainly look better, don't tell him I said that' and when he's not in the mirror he sings 'Strawberry, I feel like fuckin' and 'Strawberry, guess what, I feel like fuckin' I feel like I don't have a say in when we have sex"

"What" Grimmjow yelled "You have no say? Gimme that damn doll, this is you 'Grimm, I'm so horny and I feel like doin something with my mouth' Ouch why'd you hit me"

"I've never said that"

"Yea ya did, you probably don't remember cuz you were drunk when you said it"

"Whatever"

"Shinji how does it work at your home" Kisuke asked

"Gladly, lets hope someone sees Starrk being horny other than me. Starrk takes many naps and he wants sex before sleep and after sleep and here's what it sounds like 'Blondie, I'm bout to go to sleep, come fuck me' 'Blondie, I'm awake now, lets fuck' he always has sex on the brain"

"Me!" Starrk said "What about 'Starrky _'hair flip_' I feel like having sex with the man I love' and what about 'Starrky '_hair flip, straddles legs_' I've been waiting all day just to see you, and guess what, I'm horny'_ he whispers in my ear_. That's how it is in my house"

"Whatever, Starrk"

Shaking his head Kisuke dismissed class

* * *

><p><em>Saturday<em>

"Hello boy" Kisuke said with no enthusiasm when he and Yoruichi walked into the room

"Where's your cheer" Nnoitra asked

"Its Saturday, I don't need any cheer. Over the past few days I've been taking notes and I realized something. You all think with your dick"

"What!" Renji exclaimed "I wasn't even thinkin' about fucking him when I walked up to him"

"Renji, who did you dream of that night" Kisuke asked calmly

"..."

"You were thinking with your dick, maybe it wasn't on purpose but you were. Byakuya your weren't attracted to Renji's personality, you were attracted to the person who came out of that pool, weren't you"

Byakuya sat quietly before nodding "Yes I was attracted to Renji's body first but after spending the day with him I realized that he is more than just a body and sometimes I forget that. I love you Renji and I know I don't show it all the time but I do"

Kisuke smiled before moving on "Nnoi you wanted Shiro for his ass and then you wanted to get to know him, right"

"Right" Nnoi answered

"Then why do you treat him like he's just a piece of meat"

"...I don't mean it, I say what I think a lot and a lot of the times I don't think before I say things. I'm sorry Shiro, I do know you have feelings and I know I over look them and while we're here I'll work on it"

Kisuke smiled again "Starrk and Shinji the both of you are guilty of thinking with your dick. When your first met Starrk you had nothing on your mind but to fuck him, right" Shinji nodded "and when you finally got to sleep with him you felt..."

"I felt...I felt..."

"You felt incomplete, you thought all you wanted from Starrk was sex and when you finally got it your heart took over and you realized you wanted more, luckily the same thing happened to Starrk"

"Damn, your good" Shinji said "Starrk I love you and sex isn't the only thing in our relationship, I often forget that but from now on I'll try to fix that"

"Shinji" Starrk said "I love you too and some times I do put sex before everything else including you and your feelings and I'm sorry"

Kisuke smiled yet again "Grimm, Ichigo, you two were probably the worst couple to participate in the 'no sex' week, Ichigo what is up with you and sex you were acting like you didn't love Grimmjow"

"I know, I couldn't help it. Its like sex is the main thing I can't fuck up and when I don't have it I act like I hate the world and the person who cares the most. I'm sorry Grimm, I love you and I want you to know that I will try my hardest to work on not having sex with you when ever I want"

"Ichigo I love you, I often think of you as my sex buddy but I know your more to me then that and while we're here I will focus on thinking about me and you"

Kisuke smiled again "I'm so proud of you guys, I thought you would have failed by now and guess what"

"What" they all said

"The curse has been lifted, you can have sex now"

Starrk picked Shinji up, threw him over his shoulder and walked out the door. Byakuya pulled Renji into a soul searing kiss and then whispered _'you ready'_ Renji grabbed his hand and dragged him to their room. Ichigo tackled Grimmjow to the ground and kissed him with everything he had. Nnoitra pulled Shiro into his lap and kissed him until he couldn't breathe.

After everyone left the room and Kisuke and Yoruichi heard several loud moans they looked at each other and laughed "Their gonna need a lot of assprin" Yoruichi said

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry this took so long, I hope this makes up for the wait.<strong>


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